Reflect!

Look at all these posts -- and still no Reflections on the Process of Making Art.
I hurl myself through dark canyons and across awesome calderas to get over to the right side of this infestation of sierras, but! by the time to I open the studio door there is always something, something, something  wrong, something not quite right, something off...
I do paint, you know.  Well, alllmost every night. Very, very gradually, good things are happening in the last piece that I am working on, but stzooooo part time!
Yes! There are many factors that determine that the most essential issues in life are not dealt with and that stupid, diversionary piddle gets top billing. Oooooh! It's so hot in hot in here (a blast of 126*F air hits me as I pull open the door), perhaps I'll take my shirt off -- still don't look like a very skinny Pablo Picasso -- the brush! my favorite and most true brush, all stiff and twisted -- can it be rescued? The blue, the fucking blue. Prussian,. Shall I keep adding the dark, cheap (Hobby Lobby Art Supply shelves -- look! Prussian Blue. $10.00. Big tube. Winton? Who cares. That will take care of the whole surface. Get it! Buy it! I must! Yes ! Get two! Prussian Blue lust! Ultramarine! yes! Get that too! Cobalt! Yes! Haven't had Cobalt for months! Years perhaps! maybe never had much real Cobalt of my own ever before <---- stupid color, who needs it.)  blue. Violet. Never consciously bought Violet before. I wish I had some
Sent out a few probes recently -- one art center, one gallery. No one replied. What shall I  do? Second time in the last decade that I have approached anyone. Am I getting a bit too pushy? Should I get a grip on myself?