Wallgreens, Bernalillo

Wallgreens, Bernalillo
I pull out my list of instructions for a British passport photograph.
"This isn't for an American passport, none of that kind of three quarter view with left ear showing, you know, no hat, turban, bandages, " I remind the man. He looks a little crazed, and doesn't really understand what I mean.
"I'll take care of how my face looks. You know, the grinning, frowning, or raised eyebrow stuff. I'll try to keep my eyes open for as long as it takes and stay neutral, keep my mouth closed, you know, that kind of thing. I'll even take my glasses off. I look weird without them, but I'll do it anyway."
He looks even more confused. Too much input.
"I want it 45 millimeters high by 35 millimeters wide. OK?"
 This he seems to understand, even though the measurements are metric.
"Yes, sir. We can do that."
"My head must be between 29 and 34 millimeters high."
"Er...yeah, OK sir, we'll aim for that."
"You take care of the red eye, get me in focus, make sure you use color film, no shadows on my face please, print it on white paper, you got white paper?"
"Yes sir. We can do white paper."
"Great! We're all set. Where do I sit."
"This way please."
He pulls down a white background blind.
Oh, not white. Plain cream or plain light gray, please."
He looks at me in horror.
"White. It has to be white, sir."
"No. Look here." I pull out my list of instructions. "It says no white. It has to be cream or gray."
"We can't do that. We can only do white."
"Look this is for a British passport. They're different. It has to be cream or gray."
"Sorry sir. We can only do white. We only have white."
"I'll go to another Wall-greens. They'll have other colors, right?"
"No sir. Only white."
"Look. I'll bring you a sheet of craft paper. You sell that stuff here? We'll tape it on the wall, you take the picture, I'm out'ah here, OK?"
"No sir. We can't do that. It's against the rules,"
"Rules?..."
"Its against the Law, sir."
We gazed at one another for a long time. I gave up. He won. More or less the same thing happened in each other store that I went to. I guess I'm going to have to search out a subversive pro, hidden in some dark alley. Some other day.